You hold the door open. You say yes when you mean no. You put others first—always. It feels like the right thing to do… but is it costing you more than you realize?
In this episode, Scott Barry Kaufman, Ph.D.—Columbia professor, psychologist, and author of Rise Above—joins Dave Asprey to break down the psychology of success through the lens of self-actualization, victim mindsets, and emotional resilience. He reveals how toxic altruism, external validation, and social conditioning keep people stuck—and how you can rewire your brain for empowerment, set boundaries, and step into true personal growth.
Dr. Kaufman, one of the world’s most cited scientists in cognitive development and the neuroscience of identity, shares cutting-edge research on mindset transformation, personal development strategies, and overcoming mental barriers. If you’ve ever felt stuck in self-doubt, drained from over-giving, or afraid to take up space, this conversation will help you break free and optimize your life for real success.
What You’ll Discover in This Episode:
• Victim vs. empowerment mindset—the key shift that changes everything
• The psychological traps of toxic altruism—and why over-giving holds you back
• How people-pleasing rewires your brain—and how to break the cycle
• The science of self-actualization—how to unlock your full potential without guilt
• Why modern culture and social media reward emotional fragility—and how to rise above it
• The neuroscience behind confidence, resilience, and making better choices for YOUR growth
• How dark triad personality traits influence relationships and success
• The role of self-awareness in overcoming mental barriers and breaking free from outdated conditioning
If you’ve ever felt stuck, undervalued, or drained from always being “nice”, this episode will show you how to take control of your mindset, transform your self-perception, and unlock a new level of personal growth and self-improvement.
Listen now—because success starts with self-empowerment.
Resources:
• A Day of Biohacking and Consciousness Event: https://daveasprey.com/biohacking-and-consciousness/
• Dave Asprey’s New Book – Heavily Meditated: https://daveasprey.com/heavily-meditated/
• Scott’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scottbarrykaufman/?hl=en
• Scott’s New Book – Rise Above:https://scottbarrykaufman.com/books/rise-above/
• Danger Coffee: https://dangercoffee.com
• Dave Asprey’s Website: https://daveasprey.com
• Dave Asprey’s Linktree: https://linktr.ee/daveasprey
• Upgrade Collective – Join The Human Upgrade Podcast Live: https://www.ourupgradecollective.com
• Own an Upgrade Labs: https://ownanupgradelabs.com
• Upgrade Labs: https://upgradelabs.com
• 40 Years of Zen – Neurofeedback Training for Advanced Cognitive Enhancement: https://40yearsofzen.com
Timestamps:
• 00:00 Trailer
• 00:44 Intro
• 02:02 Rise Above – Scott’s New Book
• 03:13 Triggers and Mind Control
• 05:12 Victimhood and Self-Actualization
• 12:01 Curiosity Over Fear
• 16:32 The Power of Discernment
• 26:32 Emotional Resilience Today
• 31:12 The Fragility of Younger Generations
• 37:33 Social Pressures and Identity
• 39:47 Social Media and Self-Determination
• 40:35 Community and Belonging
• 42:42 Activating Happiness and Growth
• 44:43 Gratitude and Daily Practices
• 51:48 Healthy Selfishness vs. Altruism
• 58:56 Codependency and Vulnerable Narcissism
• 01:04:57 The Dark Triad and Personality Types
• 01:09:14 Final Thoughts and Book Recs
Connect with Dave Asprey!
Website: https://daveasprey.com
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@daveaspreyofficial
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dave.asprey/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Daveaspreyofficial/
X: https://x.com/daveasprey
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/daveaspreybpr
The Human Upgrade Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/TheHumanUpgradePodcast/ and https://m.facebook.com/Thehumanupgrade/
