What’s been making you doubt yourself lately?
What do you think triggered that feeling?
Today, Jay welcomes back his friend Roxie Nafousi to unpack what confidence actually looks and feels like, not the glossy, loud, performative version, but the quiet inner knowing that you are enough as you are. They start by breaking down how much of our insecurity comes from the stories we tell ourselves: the overthinking before we walk into a room, the mental replay after we walk out, and the way we let validation, or the lack of it, shape our worth.
Roxie then opens up about something she’s never shared publicly: her long struggle with body dysmorphic disorder. She talks honestly about the thoughts that dominated her life, the fear of being seen, and the belief that changing her appearance would quiet the constant self-criticism. Jay meets her with compassion as they unpack how these patterns form, how they shape the way you move through the world, and how healing begins with learning to speak to yourself with empathy instead of judgment.
Jay and Roxie offer a roadmap that anyone can follow: mastering your inner voice, letting go of the pressure to be liked by everyone, celebrating the small wins, and choosing to show up as the version of yourself your higher self would be proud of.
In this interview, you’ll learn:
How to Redefine Confidence From the Inside Out
How to Stop Seeking External Validation
How to Manage Comparison Before It Controls You
How to Think Like Your Higher Self
How to Break Free From People-Pleasing
How to Handle Rejection Without Blaming Yourself
How to Replace Self-Criticism With Self-Awareness
When you start choosing compassion over judgment, intention over fear, and growth over perfection, you slowly reconnect with the part of yourself that’s always been there. The journey isn’t about becoming someone new, it’s about finally seeing who you’ve been all along.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
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What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
04:21 Is External Validation Ever Healthy?
08:25 A 7-Step Path to Rebuilding Confidence
10:57 How Men and Women Show Confidence Differently
12:29 Mastering the Thoughts That Shape Your Reality
17:19 Self-Awareness vs. Self-Criticism
22:28 Meet the Best Version of You
26:26 Stop Trying to Be Liked by Everyone!
31:49 How Encouragement Boosts Performance
34:07 You Can’t Be Everyone’s Favorite and That’s Okay
38:42 People-Pleasing vs. Making People Happy
42:57 Practicing Radical Acceptance After Rejection
44:54 Your Mind Creates Stories That Aren’t True
47:16 Taking Responsibility Without Blaming Yourself
50:44 Why Feeling Worthy Now Matters Most
53:18 Healing the Roots of Deep Self-Loathing
01:06:27 Why Vulnerability Is a Form of Confidence
01:10:25 Your Mind Is More Powerful Than You Think
01:13:10 Are We Too Exposed to Our Own Reflection?
01:17:18 Managing BDD With Compassion and Awareness
01:22:04 The Importance of Celebrating Ourselves
01:24:09 What’s the Difference Between Confidence and Arrogance
01:27:45 How to Make Self-Celebration a Daily Habit
01:29:51 Catch People Doing Things Right
Episode Resources:
https://www.instagram.com/roxienafousi/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100057924825815
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