If a crying child on an airplane sets you off, the problem may not be the child. It may be the part of you that was never allowed to cry.
In this clip from Know Thyself, the conversation reveals a deeply uncomfortable but powerful truth. The things that trigger us in other people are almost always the things we have not been allowed to feel in ourselves. A temper tantrum becomes unbearable to us because, somewhere along the way, we learned that our own anger was not safe. Someone else’s fear feels overwhelming because we were taught to suppress our own.
The people who irritate us, judge us, and trigger us are often holding up a mirror. They are showing us the emotions we still have not given ourselves permission to feel. And until we look at that honestly, we will keep reacting to the world from a place that has very little to do with the world itself.
Try this powerful experiment for one week. Every time you catch yourself judging someone, pause. Ask yourself a single question. What am I trying not to feel right now? Then let yourself feel it. Notice what happens to the judgment. It often softens, sometimes disappears entirely. Because beneath every judgment is a piece of you waiting to be acknowledged.
What is one emotion you have not fully allowed yourself to feel, that you might be reacting to in others?
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André’s Book Recs:
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