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    Home » Why Codependents Attract Narcissists

    Why Codependents Attract Narcissists

    Mal AntoniBy Mal AntoniAugust 20, 2026 All Videos 3 Mins Read
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    Ross Rosenberg, MEd (@rossrosenberg) is the author of the bestselling book Human Magnet Syndrome, and a psychotherapist whose work has reached over 34 million YouTube views and sold 200K books in 12 languages.

    Ross has spent decades untangling the real roots of codependency and reframed it as what he calls Self-Love Deficit Disorder.

    We get into the invisible pull between people who give everything away and people who take it, and why that chemistry so often feels like fate when it is really just familiar pain.

    He breaks down the pyramid that starts with attachment trauma, builds into core shame and pathological loneliness, and ends in compulsive attraction to narcissistic personality disorder.

    We also cover emotional incest and what it takes to divorce a narcissist.

    🔗 Visit selfloverecovery.com and use code LUKE to save 35% off all books, courses, and seminars.

    🔗 Email help@selfloverecovery.com and mention LUKE for 25% off your first therapy session.

    You’ll learn:

    🎙 [0:00] Introduction

    🎙 [4:43] Codependency’s history, from Al-Anon jargon and the tango dance concept to self-love deficit disorder

    🎙 [16:09] The self-love deficit pyramid, from attachment trauma to pathological loneliness

    🎙 [24:40] Familiar love feels like a drug, healthy love feels like home

    🎙 [36:37] The difference between a pathological narcissist and someone who’s simply selfish

    🎙 [43:29] The narcissist’s hated child grows up broken and can’t see the problem

    🎙 [50:50] Comparing overt abuse to neglect and abandonment in shaping a child

    🎙 [59:44] Talk therapy fails while psychedelics open the door to buried trauma

    🎙 [1:07:08] Inside the HITCH technique and the moment a client reintegrates their inner child

    🎙 [1:15:17] Narcissistic bonds take a toll, from childhood emotional incest to needing a strategist in divorce

    🔗 lukestorey.com/selflove

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    Mal Antoni

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