You don’t miss them. You miss who you thought you’d be with them.
In this episode, Jay brings together some of the most honest voices on love and heartbreak — Matthew Hussey, James Sexton, Nessa Barrett] and Cynthia Erivo — to break down why letting go feels impossible, and why the person you’re grieving might never have been the real problem.
They cover why we chase a feeling instead of a person, the one thing that shows you who someone really is, the stage of a breakup where most of us trip up, what 25 years of divorce court reveals about the lies we tell ourselves, and the honest answer to whether love alone is enough.
Whether you’re fresh out of a breakup, stuck on someone who’s already gone, or quietly drifting from the person next to you, this is the heartbreak masterclass nobody gave you.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
✅Why you’re not addicted to the person, but to something else
✅ What closure really looks like (and why you may already have it)
✅ The difference between a poet and poetry in love
✅ Why playing it cool attracts the wrong people
✅ The inner voice that talks you back into a bad relationship
✅ The breakup stage that makes healing so much harder
✅ The quiet habit that ends most marriages
✅ Why sometimes happily ever after means apart
JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
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Chapters:
0:00 — You miss the feeling, not the person
1:39 — What closure actually is
2:00 — Why healing isn’t linear
2:26 — MATTHEW HUSSEY: The guitar player problem
3:33 — Right person or right time
5:50 — Trying to impress vs. trying to connect
7:28 — They had eight good weeks in them
10:07 — Bukowski’s stolen poetry
12:41 — Create your own dating culture
15:58 — Give energy you’re willing to lose
18:24 — The abandonment voice that won’t let you leave
20:41 — NESSA BARRETT: Lonely after the stage lights go off
22:40 — The desperate stage of a breakup
24:40 — Breaking free from codependency
28:30 — The burn box ritual
31:12 — CYNTHIA ERIVO: When a parent walks away at 16
33:39 — Why she chose to end it
36:53 — Looking through the lens of abandonment
39:33 — JAMES SEXTON: The number one marriage killer
43:32 — Why love is loaned, not gifted
46:23 — If willpower alone could make love last
The guests’ full episodes:
Matthew Hussey
Nessa Barrett
Cynthia Erivo
James Sexton
Watch the FULL episode on Netflix & Spotify 🎙️
Netflix – https://dub.sh/QaUsKeD
Spotify – https://dub.sh/axUXylv
