For years, personality traits were seen as fixed—something you’re born with, not something you can change. But what if the real reason you feel stuck, anxious, or disconnected isn’t because of your circumstances… it’s because of traits like neuroticism, low conscientiousness, or intense introversion in an extroverted world?
In this episode, Dave Asprey sits down with Olga Khazan, a journalist and author of the book “Me, But Better” who set out to change her own personality in her 30s—and actually succeeded. Through science-backed experiments, self-observation, and radical self-awareness, Olga reveals how identity is more malleable than we think—and how shifting your core traits can improve your health, relationships, productivity, and long-term success.
You’ll learn why anxiety, emotional volatility, and chronic dissatisfaction are tied to personality—plus the tools that work to change them. From meditation and behavioral activation to boundaries, gratitude, and even improv, this episode shows you exactly how to take control of your wiring… and become the version of yourself you choose to be.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
• Why your traits—not just your habits—drive your health and success
• How to reduce neuroticism and increase emotional resilience
• What it means to build conscientiousness as an adult
• How to thrive as an introvert in an extroverted culture
• The surprising role of self-awareness in lasting transformation
• Why gratitude and boundaries rewire your brain faster than you think
• The role of SSRIs, therapy, and meditation in identity change
• How behavior—not motivation—creates lasting personality shifts
• Why relationships are key to reshaping your personality
• How to feel more calm, capable, and connected—by design
Resources:
• Olga’s New Book – Me, But Better: https://www.amazon.com/Me-But-Better-Science-Personality/dp/1668012545
• Dave Asprey’s New Book – Heavily Meditated: https://daveasprey.com/heavily-meditated/
• Olga’s Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/olganator/?hl=en
• Olga’s Website: https://olgakhazan.com/
• 2025 Biohacking Conference: https://biohackingconference.com/2025
• Danger Coffee: https://dangercoffee.com
• Dave Asprey’s Website: https://daveasprey.com
• Dave Asprey’s Linktree: https://linktr.ee/daveasprey
• Upgrade Collective – Join The Human Upgrade Podcast Live: https://www.ourupgradecollective.com
• Own an Upgrade Labs: https://ownanupgradelabs.com
• Upgrade Labs: https://upgradelabs.com
• 40 Years of Zen – Neurofeedback Training for Advanced Cognitive Enhancement: https://40yearsofzen.com
Timestamps:
• 0:00 — Trailer
• 1:52 — Intro
• 2:16 — Personality Changes and Neuroticism
• 5:38 — Postpartum Personality Shifts
• 10:21 — Gratitude and Cultural Beliefs
• 18:13 — Anger Management and Empathy
• 32:58 — Personality Traits and Boundaries
• 35:46 — The Importance of Strong Boundaries
• 36:07 — Personality Change as Self-Improvement
• 37:22 — The Role of Medication in Personality Change
• 39:18 — Brain-Body Connection and Mental Health
• 43:26 — Impact of Sleep and Nutrition on Personality
• 44:23 — Nicotine and Other Substances
• 45:41 — Therapy and Personality Change
• 46:43 — Changing Personality Through Behavior
• 1:01:25 — The Role of Relationships in Personality Development
• 1:04:49 — Challenges and Methods in Personality Change
• 1:08:38 — The Power of Improv in Personality Change
• 1:10:17 — Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Connect with Dave Asprey!
Website: https://daveasprey.com
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@daveaspreyofficial
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dave.asprey/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Daveaspreyofficial/
X: https://x.com/daveasprey
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/daveaspreybpr
The Human Upgrade Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/TheHumanUpgradePodcast/ and https://m.facebook.com/Thehumanupgrade/
