We often think change will make sense once we get to the other side, but what if the real work of change is learning how to stay present in the uncertainty itself?
Today, Jay sits down with cognitive scientist and author Dr. Maya Shankar to explore why unexpected change feels so threatening, and why losing what we thought our life would look like can feel like losing ourselves. From a career-ending injury early in her life to deeply personal losses later on, Maya reflects on how life’s unexpected turns can quietly reshape how we see ourselves, our worth, and our place in the world.
Maya explains that one of the biggest mistakes we make during change is tying our self-worth to roles, titles, or outcomes. When those fall away, it can feel deeply destabilizing. Instead, she invites us to root our identity in something more stable: our “why.” The deeper reasons behind what we love—connection, service, growth, creativity. When we stay connected to those, we can move through change without losing ourselves. Jay reflects on how often we seek external validation and why redefining success during loss is essential for resilience.
In this interview, you’ll learn:
How to Handle Change You Didn’t Choose
How to Anchor Your Self-Worth Beyond External Success
How to Find Your “Why” When Life Falls Apart
How to Rebuild Yourself After a Dream Ends
How to Grow into the Person Change Is Shaping You To Be
If you’re going through a season of change right now, remember this: you’re not broken for struggling with it. Change is meant to shake us, to slow us down, and to make us question who we are beyond our titles, plans, and expectations.
A quietly powerful read about resilience and reinvention by Maya Shankar, The Other Side of Change invites you to meet yourself again when life takes an unexpected turn – https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/729180/the-other-side-of-change-by-maya-shankar/
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
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What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:52 How Change Has Shaped Your Life
04:33 Why Does Change Feel So Scary?
11:27 Why We Tie Our Identity to What We Do
16:07 What Awaits on the Other Side of Change
24:37 Using Self-Affirmation to Stay Grounded
30:32 Finding Gratitude in Who You Become
39:13 Maya on Final Five
Episode Resources:
Maya Shankar | https://mayashankar.com/
Maya Shankar | https://www.instagram.com/drmayashankar
Maya Shankar | https://x.com/slightchangepod
A Slight Change of Plans | https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-slight-change-of-plans/id1561860622
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