Esther Perel believes the friction you’re trying to remove from dating is the exact thing that makes love possible.
In this clip, Esther Perel and Jay Shetty talk about why Gen Z is dating far less than the generations before them, and why the answer starts on the empty streets where kids used to play freely and learn to approach strangers, make rules, and make peace.
Esther argues we’ve built a contactless world. You don’t have to leave the house to work, shop, eat, or be understood. So the whole training ground for relationships got skipped, and dating became a mountain you’re expected to climb with no practice. She unpacks why 45% of young men have never approached a woman in public, why texting someone isn’t the same as hearing their voice, and the "ambiguous loss" you feel when someone’s sitting right next to you but scrolling.
Learn about the seven relational verbs Esther says you have to learn to conjugate, why every real love story is built around an obstacle, and the friend who almost spent five hours talking to an AI instead of the woman he ended up traveling Europe with.
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Chapters
0:00 — Why Gen Z is dating less
0:52 — The playground that taught you how to relate
2:27 — Why a screen can’t give you real eye contact
4:29 — 45% of young men have never approached a woman
6:58 — Your first experiences, delayed by ten years
8:22 — Connected everywhere, lonely everywhere
9:34 — The friction that teaches you to really listen
10:33 — Why you’re scared of being screenshotted
12:40 — How to build connection offline
14:31 — Ambiguous loss: here but not here
15:36 — No love story without an obstacle
17:35 — The seven verbs of every relationship
20:42 — Why first dates feel like job interviews
Watch the FULL episode on Netflix & Spotify 🎙️
Netflix – https://dub.sh/QaUsKeD
Spotify – https://dub.sh/axUXylv
Full Episode With Esther Perel:
Episode Resources:
Website | https://www.estherperel.com/
YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@estherperel
Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/esther.perel/
Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/estherperelofficial
LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/estherperel
TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@estherperel_official
Substack | https://estherperel.substack.com/
https://www.amazon.com/Mating-Captivity-Unlocking-Erotic-Intelligence/dp/0060753641
